To do this you have to accept reality, have the conviction that life has a purpose. Still don't know your purpose in life? We all have a purpose in life, identify it!
There are 2 ways to be resilient, the first is by talking to yourself, questioning your negative thoughts, challenging them with a positive attitude, the second way is by re-educating your brain, recovering from the mental kidnapping of your friend (do you regret something you just started, identification pattern).
There are ways to strengthen our own resilience, by seeking external challenges, improving, maturing social connections, connecting with more relevant information, remaining attentive, seeking a mentor to help us challenge ourselves, sharing opinions, seeking support from groups, introducing new people to your network who bring new visions.
Create coins of positivity that note down, with positive memories, see the system from the emotions not only from the rational (action - reaction - interaction), thus reducing anxiety and being proactive and not reactive to the signals. Become an astute observer.
Thinking with compassionate actions to relieve both the chronic anxiety of the system and the reactivity to signals helps, stand - think - reflect.
You must lead (self-lead) from calm, clarity, conviction, emotionally, spiritually and physically by maintaining connection with people.
In many adverse situations we can experience anxiety, looking consciously at that anxiety, seeing what behaviors we have or have had, seeing the cause - root of that anxiety we can refocus that anxiety in learning to mitigate it in the future (learning extreme situation to strengthen = resilience).
Many times our mind will put up resistance or attempted kidnapping to stay firm in the situation, the train follows its course, this is your stop to get on if you wish.
Being honest and emotionally aware, self-care and acting on one's own intellectual and physical well-being, working on compassion and gratitude (two very stigmatized terms).
Compassion is not feeling sadness for seeing others suffer, that is empathy, compassion is understanding suffering and helping to alleviate it, mercy is having the feeling of compassion for others. The difference between empathizing and having compassion is action, I can empathize with another person's pain, but as long as I do not act to alleviate that pain or situation I will not show any compassion.
Contrary to what one may believe, in the society and world in which we live compassion is not a weakness, on the contrary, it is a huge strength because we help others, connecting, mitigating, learning.
To develop resilience we need the presence of adversity, risk, and a desire for positive adaptation to overcome adversity.
To increase that level of resilience we need feedback on the value provided, reflection and learning on the skills needed and information.
The great elephants of resilience are the search for the cause - effect of things, the question and now what? to try to always be one step ahead, improving is not resilience, resilience is when you have to improve to overcome adversity, to give and receive feedback, to face failure and accept it, to overcome anger and denial.
Resilience is about recovery, not endurance, we think that the more we endure the more resilient we are and it is false, without a recovery period to come out stronger (learning) our ability to be resilient is limited.
We have to be proactive, realistic, positive, contribute by looking for internal and external connections, contribute ideas, have support from others and confidence in ourselves. Resilience has to be a personal goal, as a positive improvement of personal development with learning, a fundamental process that makes you powerful, from self-learning through experiences, self-leadership and collaboration with others to establish relationships.
